


Warning: Geniuses at Play

by Stella_Malodi



Series: Silly Words for the Silly Soul(mate fic) [12]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), X-Men (Movies)
Genre: (complete with terrifying Mom Voice), Accidental Baby Acquisition, Adorable Hulk, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Baby Iron Man, Baby Jane, Crack Treated Seriously, Darcy Lewis is a BAM, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Human Experimentation, Kid Fic, Kid Hulk, Kid OC - Freeform, Kidnapping, Mama Bear Darcy Lewis, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS, Scientist Wrangler Darcy Lewis, Smitten Steve Rogers, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-10 11:22:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5583958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stella_Malodi/pseuds/Stella_Malodi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Or: In Which Science! Is Done Without Darcy's Permission)</p>
<hr/>
<p>There was a soft thump, and Darcy turned to see a small Bruce Banner sitting on the ground. “Darthy?”</p>
<p>She refrained from aw-ing or rushing over to pinch his cheeks or hug him, but it was a close thing. Mini-Bruce was <em>adorable</em>. He looked like he was five or six years old; as if the messy curls and soft lisp weren’t enough, he was rubbing his eyes and yawning, all while drowning in the white fabric of his adult-sized lab coat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sick Days

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my second multi-part fic! It's... not quite as complete as I would like it to be, but ~~there shouldn't be any delays in posting (HA)~~ I promise to finish it. Eventually.
> 
> Friendly Reminder: In this Soulmate AU, everyone is born with a tattoo of the first words their Soulmate will say to them. Showing or telling anyone what it says is a big taboo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/13/16 This chapter has been edited. So. You might want to re-read it.

Steve had always known that he would be too late. Well—that wasn’t exactly true. One of the women his ma worked with at the hospital could tell him all about ‘too late;’ she’d met her Soulmate on the job, and the doctors hadn’t been able to save him.

Really, he was just being melodramatic when he thought that way. She wasn’t in danger, and she wasn’t rejecting him. She had children, yes, but she might be a widow, like his ma. Either way, she seemed to be willing to let him be a part of her life. And if she  _ was _ married, or didn’t want to marry again, that would be all right. He could be a friend of the family. He could be Uncle Steve to the kids. 

He’d like that, even if a part of him regretted that he might never be ‘Dad.’

 

* * *

 

Darcy _hated_ being sick. She hated every cough, every sniffle, every headache, and every day spent in bed because it took too much energy to get up.  

But even more than being sick, even more than the  _ misery _ that was her sponsorship of tissue companies and Netflix, she  _ hated _ missing work.

She hadn’t expected to love her job, or even to  _ like _ it, really, but she did. She  _ enjoyed  _ looking after her scientists. She liked cooking for them, snarking with them, organizing them, and generally mothering them to within an inch of their lives. It was  _ fun _ , but more than that, it was satisfying.

That she regularly got thank-you-for-keeping-Tony-alive presents from Pepper Potts (usually in the form of designer shoes, a spa day, tailored clothing, or a girls’ night out) was an added bonus.

Still, she wasn’t a workaholic, and none of these things, none of these  _ perks,  _ were the reason why she hated missing work.

No, she hated it because every time she got sick, or had a family emergency, or  _ whatever _ , her scientists got into trouble. They stopped taking care of themselves; they did sleepy!science. They didn’t listen when people told them that their experiment/project was a Bad Idea, and so they went ahead and did it anyway. 

It had gotten to the point that she rarely left town; if she absolutely  _ had _ to, she kept the trip as short as possible and locked down the labs while she was gone. Unfortunately, she couldn’t do the same when she was sick, particularly since her illnesses tended to drag on. She’d tried just going in to work sick once, but somehow her germs had interacted with Bruce’s experiment; the result was an electrified goo monster, which had escaped the lab and started attacking Manhattan. (No one wanted to contemplate the fact that it was probably actually a booger monster, and Darcy  _ really _ didn’t want to think about the Avengers assembling to  _ literally  _ fight her sinus infection.) (On the bright side, it was her shortest sick leave yet; things had cleared right up the moment the goo monster was defeated.)

After that, Darcy was not allowed near the labs when she was sick.

She only left her scientists unsupervised once. 

Jane had opened a portal.

New York had not appreciated the live reenactment of Jurassic Park.

Darcy tried hiring a temporary babysitter.

The woman, who Darcy had  _ thought _ had the nerves of steel required to deal with Tony, Bruce, and Jane, was a gibbering wreck after two days. There were three explosions in that time, and Tony had tried to build a telepathic coffee maker. 

A telepathic coffee maker with  _ lasers _ . 

He’d made nearly twenty prototypes, and they’d all started attacking a visiting Steve Rogers when he said he didn’t want any coffee. (What he’d been  _ thinking _ about the coffee makers was anyone’s guess.)

Next, she had tried leaving them in JARVIS’s capable (if virtual) hands.

Tony had recruited the AI, and they’d both helped Bruce make hulk kittens.

Actually, those hadn’t caused too much trouble. They were pretty adorable, in fact. But still.  _ Hulk kittens _ . JARVIS  _ totally _ should have put a stop to that.

This time, she’d just kept an eye on them via tablet, with JARVIS’s help. It  _ mostly _ worked, but she was sleeping a lot, and they had no sleep schedule. They’d had a few close calls. But they  _ had _ managed to avoid catastrophe. She’d thought—hoped—that they might make it through this illness without any major incidents. But the morning of what was supposed to be her first day back at work, she was woken not by her alarm clock, but by a mauve alert from JARVIS.

Darcy threw on some clothes and rushed to the labs.

She didn’t make it in time. 

She could see it happening through the glass: Tony’s new PA was sprinting for the door; the latest intern had a deer-in-the-headlights look and was staring in shock at a smoking machine; Jane and Tony were yelling at each other, both trying to fix the machine and obviously disagreeing about how; and Bruce was slowly backing away from them. The thing started to glow, and Tony and Jane stopped yelling at each other as their efforts became frantic. The PA made it through the door, and Bruce turned towards the Hulk containment chamber. He’d barely taken two steps when a wave of energy rolled out of the machine, followed by a dense purple smoke.

The energy hit the glass. It cracked, but didn’t break; Darcy and the PA darted through the closest door, which led to another lab. “JARVIS, shield and vent Bruce’s lab, please, and keep that smoke quarantined.”

She watched the purple smoke begin to clear before sheets of metal slid down and blocked her view.

“Good job getting out of there,” Darcy said with a glance at the other woman. “Do you know what they were working on?”

She shook her head and sank onto the floor, breathing heavily.

Darcy returned her attention to the other lab. She could hear the energy bouncing around, first by the sound of cracking glass, then by sound of ringing metal, but each hit was quieter than the one before. It took time, more time than Darcy liked, but eventually the sounds stopped as energy dissipated entirely. The moment JARVIS gave her the all-clear, Darcy dashed across the hall and into Bruce’s lab. 

The scene was… not what she was expecting. The knocked over instruments, the dented metal, the shattered remains of the glass wall… that was all there. She’d been prepared for the widespread destruction she found.

She was  _ not _ prepared for two crying babies, one screaming toddler, and a child-sized Hulk throwing a temper-tantrum.

“You stop that right this instant, Bruce Banner!”

At the sound of her voice, all crying stopped. 

The Hulk turned to her, eyes bright and happy; when he saw her, hands on her hips and glaring at him, he hung his head. “Sorry, Darcy.”

She relaxed. “You’re forgiven. Now, can you stay calm and help me, or do I need to send you to your room until you’re less green?”

He shuffled his feet. “Hulk help Darcy.”

She beamed at him. “Good!” She looked around the room. “Hm… Can you start picking up anything that got knocked over?”

The young Hulk—who was slightly taller than her—grinned and turned to the nearest table. With  _ that _ situation under control, Darcy turned her attention to the babies. 

Well, they weren’t newborns, at least. Darcy wasn’t a good judge of baby ages, but they were both sitting up and patiently looking at her. “Can you two understand me? How much do you remember?”

Baby Tony, who was noticeably bigger than Jane and well on his way to being a toddler, grinned at her in a way that just looked  _ wrong _ on a baby’s face. When he spoke, it was in careful, deliberate sentences. “I wememba. You gon-na be my new mama, Deedee?” 

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Oh, why not. Sure, Tony, I’ll be your mother. It’s not like I don’t already feed you, keep you from getting yourself killed, and send you off for naptime.”

The smaller baby giggled and tried to speak, but all that emerged was mushy gibberish. She frowned.

“You understand and remember, Jane?”

She nodded distractedly, and started babbling to herself.

Darcy turned to the intern-turned-toddler and found that Tony’s most recent PA had followed her into the wrecked lab and was cuddling the little boy. She smiled.

“Natalie Brown, right?” She looked up and nodded. “Thanks for looking after… um…” Darcy tried frantically to remember the intern’s name.

“Jamie. His name is Jamie Murray.”

“Right! Jamie.” She turned her attention to the toddler. “You’re the one who always answers when I call Jane ‘Janie,’ right? Sorry I forgot, dude.”

“ _ That’s _ how you remember him?” Natalie sounded outraged.

Darcy tilted her head to the side. “Natalie, do you know how many interns we’ve had in the last six months?  _ Sixteen _ . Jamie’s lasted longer than any of the others, but I’ve been out for the last two weeks, and he was only there for a week before that.”

“Um, uh, I don’t think that was me. I, uh, I just started yesterday.”

“Seriously?” Darcy shook her head. “Sorry I missed that. But, two Jamies in a row? Weird.”

“The girl before me was Erica.”

“I missed  _ two _ interns? I have  _ got _ to stop getting sick.”

There was a soft thump, and Darcy turned to see a small Bruce Banner sitting on the ground. “Darthy?”   


She refrained from aw-ing or rushing over to pinch his cheeks or hug him, but it was a close thing. Mini-Bruce was  _ adorable. _ He looked like he was five or six years old; as if the messy curls and soft lisp weren’t enough, he was rubbing his eyes and yawning, all while drowning in the white fabric of his adult-sized lab coat. 

“Careful of the glass, sweetheart,” she said, the endearment slipping out unintentionally. “Oh—sorry, Bruce. You’re kind of adorable right now.”

He blushed and ducked his head, but smiled shyly at her. “Ith okay. I don’t mind.”

This time she  _ did _ let out an “aw…” but she wasn’t the only one; Natalie was right there with her.

He blushed even more, but before they could embarrass him further, Jamie yelped. Darcy spun around to find him sitting on the ground, staring in shock at the glass and blood on the bottom of his foot.

“Okay!” she said quickly. “Time to get the little, shoeless kids  _ away _ from the broken glass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know: Jane is about nine months old, and Tony's eighteen months old. I tried to be accurate about what a baby could physically do at those ages, but... this is based on internet findings and asking my mom what precocious mini-me could do. (Like... there's being able to understand a language, and then there's physically being able to wrap your mouth around the words.)


	2. The Evil Baby Orphanage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So… you up to becoming Captain America, defender of justice and sitter of babies?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/13/16 This chapter has also been edited. So, you might want to re-read it. And the first one, if you haven't done that already.

Steve had been awake for an hour or so before he remembered that he ought to check his phone for messages. As it turned out, Natasha had sent him a text, which simply read, _“Can you babysit Stark today?”_

He snorted, replied, _“Sure,”_ and headed for the floor dedicated to Science!

One of the labs was a hive of activity, but a quick scan of the faces inside showed that Tony wasn’t among them. He walked further down the hall to Tony’s lab… Tony’s dark and quiet lab. There was a sign on the door; reading it, Steve blinked.

 

_The scientist you are looking for is currently unavailable._

_If it’s important, tell JARVIS._

_If it’s an emergency, tell Darcy Lewis._

_Please verify that you actually know the definition of the word ‘emergency’ before contacting her, on pain of embarrassing, juvenile pranks._

 

It probably _wasn’t_ an emergency, but “on a mission from the Black Widow” should be a good enough excuse to spare him any retribution. “Hey, JARVIS? Where can I find Tony?”

“My apologies, Captain Rogers, but I am not permitted to share that information at this time.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. That was interesting. “How about Darcy Lewis, then?”

“Miss Lewis is in her offices at the moment. If you would like, I can direct you there.”

“Thank you, JARVIS.”

 

* * *

 

JARVIS’s directions led him to another door with a sign.

 

_Evil Baby Orphanage_

_Warning: Geniuses at Play_

_No Science! Allowed_

 

After staring for a moment, he shrugged it off and knocked.

He was just considering knocking again when the door swung open to reveal a curvy, hassled-looking brunette. She opened her mouth, but was interrupted by the sound of ripping cloth and a loud crash, followed by crying and… roaring? She sighed and shook her head. “I swear, I take my eyes off of them for thirty _seconds_ … Oh well. Come on in; I need to mom at the kids, and then we can figure out how this is gonna work.”

She left the door open for him and stomped back inside. He stared at her, mouth agape, but quickly followed her when she shouted, “All right, everybody freeze!”

All noise came to a halt. He didn’t blame them; she had the scariest Mom Voice he’d ever heard.

A quick glance around showed a sullen, young-looking Hulk, a crying toddler, a _smirking_ baby in an Iron Man onesie, and on the other side of the room, an apparently oblivious baby in a Thor onesie.

The woman, who Steve assumed was Darcy Lewis, glared at them all for a moment before speaking. “Okay, JARVIS, what happened?”

“I believe Mr. Stark built a small catapult. When he fired, the projectile hit Mr. Banner, who transformed into the Hulk.” The AI hesitated. “I am unsure if Mr. Banner was Mr. Stark’s intended target. Given the trajectory, it is likely that Mr. Murray would have been hit if he had not bent over as the catapult was being fired.”

“Thank you, JARVIS. Now, Bruce? What did you see?”

The remarkably calm, if sulking, Hulk said, “Tony build throwy thing. Throwy thing hurt puny… other Bruce.” He brightened. “Hulk _smash_ throwy thing!”

“And Jamie?”

“I… didn’t see anything. I just heard Hulk yelling and got scared.”

“Tony? What’s your side of the story?”

The smirking baby shrugged and spoke slowly. “I was aiming at Jamie.”

She sighed and called, “Jane?”

The baby on the other side of the room jerked at the sound of her name. “Wuh?”

“Did you see what happened?”

The baby shook her head and went back to whatever it was she’d been doing.

“All right. Tony, I’m taking away the erector set. I told you when I gave it to you that you had one chance, and I meant it. No Science! until you’ve got grown-up brains and coordinated, grown-up bodies.”

The smirk turned into a pout. “Being a baby is _bowing!”_ It took Steve a second to translate ‘bowing’ to ‘boring;’ apparently Tony was having trouble with his ‘r’s.

“I know, I know. But you _know_ why I can't let you use the hologram-thing in your lab, and they haven't finished setting up the new one yet." She sighed. "Look, why don't I just put in a movie? It's almost naptime, anyway."

"...what movie?"

"How about _What's Up, Doc?_ Slapstick humor, and it’s not a cartoon or a kiddie movie, but no one will glare at me if they walk in and see you watching it."

'Jamie,' the toddler, giggled. "I like that movie."

"Well, that's one vote in favor. Anyone else?" There was a round of shrugs and nods. "Great! JARVIS, pull it up, please."

Once everyone was seated in front of the television, Darcy turned to Steve. “Sorry about that, they can be…” she trailed off when she realized he was staring at her. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

He shook his head. “No, I was just thinking that you, Natasha, and Pepper are the most terrifying women I know. If any or all of you get it into your heads to be our benevolent overlords, we’ll be doomed, and you’ll make us like it.” He smiled wryly. “Is it wrong that I find that incredibly attractive?”

She blinked. “Huh. Those are my… Huh.” She looked a bit dazed. “You’re my Soulmate.”

“And you’re mine.”

She met his eyes and a smile slowly spread its way across her face. “I guess I am.” After a moment, she flushed and looked away, her shoulders hunching slightly. “So… you up to becoming Captain America, defender of justice and sitter of babies?”

That startled a laugh from him. “Sure,” he said, allowing the change of subject without fuss. “I’ve always liked kids.”

She smiled and relaxed. “Great! They’re kind of a handful, and not many people have both the clearance to know what happened and the time or inclination to help me look after them.”

“What _did_ happen? I mean, I think I can guess, what with the little big green guy and the smirking baby, but no one’s actually _told_ me anything.”

“Well, I was out sick and the Scientists Three were Science!-ing. They were actually working on a mostly-approved project—something to make people younger.”

Steve raised his eyebrows. “Looks like it worked.”

“Mm. A little too well, and not as controlled as it’ll need to be. Also, it’s affecting their minds, which is something they’ll need to fix if Jane is going to be able to use it regularly.”

“Jane?”

She gestured towards the kids. “Baby number two. She’s Thor’s significant other, but he’s practically immortal, so… Anyway, the _project_ was tentatively approved; the prototype was _not_.”

“What happened?”

“Brand new intern pushed a button.”

“Ah.”

“Yep.”

"Well, what's being done to fix it?"

"Just about everyone who has experience in a related field is working on a solution. They're close—very close. Actually, _technically_ , they’ve figured out how to reverse it. But there are some… complications. Not least of which is that we don’t have all of the supplies to build the machine they’ve designed."

He furrowed his brow. "Surely with Stark’s money…"

She shook her head. “One of the main components of the original machine came from Asgard. Until Thor comes back, we can’t even _ask_ for another one. They’re trying to design a substitute… but our expert on Asgardian science is currently teething, so they’re having some difficulties.”

“And the other ‘complication?’”

She sighed. "It’s like I said before—this is affecting their minds. At first, they mostly acted like they were adults in children’s bodies. That’s changing. They’re becoming more like children who just happen to have however many years of memories. That’s got us worried about childhood amnesia. I mean, imagine if you could only remember your whole life as well as you can remember being five—or three, or under two, in their cases. Some of the fuzziness is just the passage of time, but some of it _isn’t_. So, it could be a problem. But it’s also possible that we’ll won’t find a way to keep their memories safe and accessible, and it seems likely that things will get worse the longer we wait. And, of course, we might be worrying about nothing. So the question is, do we dedicate all of our time to finding a substitute for the missing part, fix them ASAP, and hope for the best? Or do move more researchers over to _this_ problem, possibly delaying the first project's completion, and hope they can find a way to ensure the kids will keep all of their memories?”

“Have you tried contacting Charles Xavier?”

She blinked. “No. He’s… the telepath, right?”

“Right. I talked to him about the possibility of helping Bucky with his memories, once…” He sighed and looked away. “Once he decides he wants to come in.”

“What did he say?”

“That he wouldn’t know for sure without looking, but that it was likely he would be able to help.”

“Well… All right. Can you talk to him? Get him in contact with the scientists who are working on things?”

“Sure.”

“Great.” She closed her eyes and sighed, and tension he hadn’t even noticed seemed to fall from her shoulders.

He took one of her hands between both of his. Her eyes flew open. “Hey. It’ll be okay.”

To his slight, well-hidden, and completely internal _panic_ , her eyes started watering. “Promise?”

He swallowed and nodded. “Promise.”

She pulled her hand from his, hesitated, then stepped closer and wrapped both of her arms tightly around him. He did the same, wrapping one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders. She flinched slightly, then shuddered. He immediately dropped his hands and started to pull back. “Hey, are you—”

“Shh,” she said, and held him tighter. More hesitantly now, he returned the hug. She shuddered again, and he began moving one hand up and down her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner. After a moment, she sighed and sagged against him. He dropped a kiss on top of her head and continued to rub her back.

After a while, her breathing evened out, then slowed, and her grip on him slackened. When he leaned back to look at her, her eyes were closed and her face was relaxed in sleep. He smiled and picked her up. She murmured slightly and shifted, but he hushed her. Out of habit, he addressed the ceiling when he—quietly—spoke. “JARVIS? Does she have a bed here?” Rather than reply, the AI opened one of the doors. “Thanks, JARVIS.”

Steve walked into her bedroom. It was messy, and the blankets on her large bed were in disarray, but that just made it easier to tuck her in. He took off her shoes, put them neatly at the foot of her bed, pulled the covers over her, kissed her forehead, and left before he gave in to the urge to straighten things up.

He doubted she’d appreciate it.

He returned to the living room to find Natasha picking up a sleeping Tony Stark.

Steve nodded a greeting at her, picked up the youngest of the children, and followed her into one of the rooms.

Once all of the kids were safely napping, Steve and Natasha returned to the living room. “You know, when you asked me to ‘babysit Stark,’ I didn’t think you were being _literal_ ,” he said after a moment.

She smirked. “I know.”

“What now?”

“If I may,” JARVIS broke in, “Ms. Lewis has a list of things she was planning to do while the children slept.”

Steve got to his feet. “We might as well check some things off for her. What’s first on the list?”

Steve and Natasha looked at item number one, then at each other. “Do _you_ know how to bake cookies?”

“Surely it can’t be _that_ difficult.”

 

* * *

 

Darcy awoke to the smell of burnt cookies and the sound of two people yelling over a smoke alarm.

_“'Surely it can’t be_ that _difficult,'”_ one of them said mockingly.

“Well, how was I supposed to know that cookies were that flammable?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confused about Darcy's reaction(s) to Steve? Don't worry; so is he. There are Reasons, but it's not fully explained until... later. And when I say 'later,' I mean ~~'in the sequel I'm planning.'~~ Unless it actually comes up in the next few chapters. I'm not sure. THIS IS WHY I DON'T POST WIP FICS.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for all the comments, kudos, etc. If you have anything in particular you'd like to see, let me know! This fic is _still_ not as complete as I'd like it to be (gr), but that means I might be able to fit some stuff in. :)
> 
> Also, "What's Up, Doc?" is awesome and you should all watch it.


	3. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Darcy… Darcy and Bruce are missing. They left to go shopping about three hours ago. I just got off the phone with Natasha; she found Darcy’s cellphone and purse abandoned on the side of the road.”
> 
> Jamie felt his world collapse.
> 
> He’d waited too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thing one: The first two chapters have been edited, and I changed actual plot-y things, so... you might want to re-read them. If you're lazy like me and don't want to bother, here's the important thing: Natalie Brown (Tony's PA) did NOT get kidified. She ran for the door and made it out in time. She is no longer a main character. 
> 
> Thing two: This story. It took a turn for the serious/dark. I don't even know. It's like "super fluffy kid-fic trope? Sure! Let's make it a dark-ish, serious fic with something resembling an actual plot."

Jamie was terrified.

He’d made a mistake—he _knew_ that now, though it had all seemed so reasonable at the time, especially after Harlem—and he didn’t know how to fix it. He kept waiting for them to realize, to figure it out… but they never did.

At first, it had made him angry—how dare they underestimate him? But as he spent time with them, got to know them, he realized…

It wasn’t that they were underestimating him, or that they thought little of him. It was just that he was _new_ . And, because he was new, they had written it off, had immediately forgiven him with a shrug and an ‘accidents happen, _especially_ on the first day.’

He was getting increasingly nervous because _no one had realized_ , and he knew, _knew_ , what was coming, and they weren’t doing anything to _stop_ it, they weren’t going to be prepared, and—

And he was coming to think that that would be a bad thing. He didn’t _want_ them to succeed.

He was sorry that _he’d_ succeeded; he wished he’d never so much as heard the general’s name, let alone agreed to help with his plan.

Time passed, the weight of dread grew, and with every day, every _hour_ , he became more and more certain that he was going to have to tell them.

He was dreading that, too, dreading the looks he’d get, but— it would be _so_ much worse if he _didn’t_ say anything.

He just—he couldn’t let _them_ succeed.

He just couldn’t.

 

* * *

 

Jamie was shaking. He wasn’t a _brave_ person, and it didn’t help that he was currently small, weak, and helpless, but… he _had_ to do this. Because the others… they were his friends now. And he might be a coward, but he didn’t want anyone to hurt his friends, so he would do what he could to help them.

If that meant facing Captain America’s disappointed face… then he supposed that was what he’d have to do.

He squeezed his eyes closed, took a deep breath, and pushed the words out in a rush. “I pushed the button.”

He kept his eyes closed, unwilling to open them and see the wrath that was surely all over the national icon’s face.

“I know,” was the slightly amused, not-at-all-wrathful reply. “Darcy told me.”

His eyes opened, darted up to confirm that the man didn’t seem mad, before fixing themselves upon the ground. “No, I mean… I pushed it on purpose. General Ross paid me to come here. He told me about the machine, and what I’d have to do to make it go off. He said that if I did it, he’d be able to capture the Hulk, because he wasn’t safe, and I—I _believed_ him, because of what happened in Harlem. But—” He looked up now, meeting the Captain’s eyes, but not really seeing the emotions there. “He was _wrong_ , Cap! Bruce is really nice, and so are Tony and Jane and Darcy, and even Hulk, as long as you aren’t mean to him, and I don’t want anything to happen, but he’s going to come and try to take Bruce, and he might hurt everyone else and—!”

Steve got down on his knees and put his hands on Jamie’s little-boy shoulders with a quiet, “Hush.” His face was serious, but not angry. “I need you to tell me everything you can, Jamie. You’re certain that Bruce was the target?”

He nodded miserably. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know him then, but I still shouldn’t have—I’m really, _really_ sorry!”

Steve sighed. “I know you are, Jamie. We’re going to fix this, but I _need_ you to calm down and tell me what you know.”

“‘Fix this’...?” Jamie asked numbly, a sense of dread settling upon him.

Steve took a deep breath. “Darcy… Darcy and Bruce are missing. They left to go shopping about three hours ago. I just got off the phone with Natasha; she found Darcy’s cellphone and purse abandoned on the side of the road.”

Jamie felt his world collapse.

He’d waited too long.

 

* * *

 

Darcy woke up in a sterile room, completely naked and rather thoroughly strapped to a table. She suppressed a wave of panic with the ease of long practice and moved her attention to her surroundings. There were lab coat-y people hovering around her, one of whom was sticking a _needle in her arm and OW that hurt!_

She said as much, which only earned her another needle full of… something from one of the Probably!Mad Scientists.

“The subject’s metabolism has increased again; if this dosage doesn’t keep it sedated, we may need to switch to…”

The Definitely!Mad Scientist continued speaking, but she couldn’t understand the words; within moments, she was unconscious once more.

 

* * *

 

When she woke again, she was laying in a heap on the floor of… well, to be honest, it looked like one of the Hulk Containment Units they had at the Tower. She was dressed, at least, but it was in a _very_ loose jumpsuit.

She was getting a bad feeling about this.

Because either they were super over-zealous with their immunization shots, only had one type of prison cell, and someone had overestimated her size to an insulting degree, or…

Or, they were trying to turn her into a super-soldier. A Hulk-like super-soldier. And since they’d finally let the sedatives wear off... They were probably pretty confident that they’d succeeded.

“It’s nice to see you awake at last, Miss Lewis.” The speaker was a non-descript man in a suit. A bit like Coulson, really, but Coulson was better at it.

He wasn’t alone. Standing behind him were… five men and women (hooray for equality among the evil?) in military uniforms, a pair of Mad Scientists, and three other men in suits. Oh, and also some jack-booted thugs with freaking _guns_ pointed _right at her._

“ _So_ sorry to have kept you waiting while _your_ sedatives kept me unconscious.”

He ignored her sarcastic reply. “We have a few questions we’d like you to answer.”

“What a coincidence! Because _I_ have a few questions I’d like _you_ to answer. The first among them being, where the _hell_ do you people get off kidnapping and experimenting on me?!”

The man smiled coldly. “I don’t think you quite understand the situation, Miss Lewis.” He gestured at one of the people behind him; they did something, and one of the walls cleared to show Bruce one the other side.

He was in another Containment Unit, and he was, miraculously, in human form.

He also had a gun pointed at him, which made his current state even more miraculous.

“This is the situation, Miss Lewis: you will answer our questions, or we will shoot the creature with toxic bullets. They won’t kill it, of course; we haven’t figured out how to do that, yet. But they will certainly cause him quite a lot of pain.”

Darcy saw red.

How dare they?

How _dare_ they!

She snarled at them, and—

And something—

She was—growing, expanding, and everything felt heavier and lighter at the same—no, maybe not lighter, but _easier_ , because she felt _stronger,_ because—

The jumpsuit they’d put her in wasn’t so loose anymore.

The man in the suit turned his back on her and clapped his hands once. “So, you see? The experiment was a success.”

“Are you suicidal, or just stupid?”

One of the scientists gasped. “Amazing! Why, the creature seems to have maintained full control of its—”

“I mean, really. Do you have _any_ idea of the _scale_ of your stupidity? Because I don’t think you do.”

The other scientist took a step closer. “This is fascinating!” He looked at the Suit who seemed to be in charge. “This is all being recorded, correct?”

“Did you actually do _any_ research on me, before you decided I’d be a good lab rat?”

One of the military men finally responded to her. In a flat voice, he said, “Darcy Anne Lewis. Assistant to Dr. Jane Foster and perpetual student. You have no qualifications for your position, and contribute very little to her work.”

“That’s not _quite_ accurate,” one of the other Uniforms disagreed. “She helps Stark, too, as well as Dr. Banner. Keeps them organized. That’s not nothing—”

“The _point_ is, she is relatively unimportant.”

Darcy laughed, long and hard. “‘Relatively unimportant’? To the Avengers? Really? You think I’m _unimportant_ to my family?” She laughed again. “If you think for one second that they won’t raze the ground you stand on for what you’ve done today, you don’t know them very well. But really, it’s not _them_ you need to be worried about. Kidnapping and experimenting on me... That wasn’t your worst mistake. No, you were dead the second you _threatened my SON!”_

With that, Darcy linked her hands together and hit the wall of her cage with all of her (now rather considerable) might. To the credit of its makers, the thing didn’t immediately shatter or break. It _was_ damaged, however, with a series of cracks where her fists had struck. There was a hiss of gas, the sound of gunfire, and a nails-on-chalkboard, grating _screech_ as the not-glass started to mend itself. She quickly brought her fists back for another strike.

She caused more damage this time, and struck again before it had the chance to begin the repairs. The gas was beginning to affect her—slightly—but the bullets were nothing more than a nuisance. They stung, but nothing more.

Three more hits and she had a hole in the transparent wall—through which she could hear clearly the pained roars of her son. She _tore_ at the wall with renewed strength, ripped her way through—and was finally free.

She ran to the wall, ready to _smash_ that thing down to get to her child, but it was nothing more than a screen, a projection of something happening elsewhere.

All but the gunmen had fled the room the moment she began breaking out, and the room had gone into lockdown.

The room was still filling with whatever kind of sedative they thought would be strong enough to knock her out, but she couldn’t be _stupid_ about this. They would have designed this room’s defenses with brute strength in mind. They weren’t expecting someone _clever_ to be caught inside their cage.

First things first: walls? Strong looking. Floor? Smooth, nowhere for her to really get a grip. Ceiling? Too high for her to—wait.

She nearly laughed. Their wonderful, self-repairing cage was _definitely_ tall enough for her to use as a jumping board to the ceiling, which was littered with catwalks—perfect for snipers and escaping prisoners.

Of course, they weren’t _really_ strong enough to hold her new weight for any length of time, but that just meant she had to be quick. It was close, a few times, but she made it to one of the doors. (Then, of course, she had to _squeeze through_ said door, and _that_ was not the Best Thing Ever, but she did it, so no biggie.)

Once she was in a room that was _not_ a prison cell, she made her way through the corridors until she found a computer. Which was _so_ not designed for hulk-sized hands, but she made do with a couple of pencils to poke at the keys on the keyboard.

It took longer—a _lot_ longer—than she would have liked, but she eventually found the room where they were holding Bruce.

Correction: the room where they _had been_ holding Bruce. Security cameras showed the room was empty. She scanned the footage starting with the time when she’d broken out, and found—there.

Ha. Looked like their stupid sedatives weren’t so effective on Bruce, either. They were in the garage, which was probably where he’d woken up. They were _still_ trying to shoot him with something, and—was that blood?

Darcy growled and took off running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WIPs are seriously not my friends. I will try to focus on/finish this story, but half of this chapter only got done this morning, so... next week might not bring a new chapter. It will bring _something!_ Just... maybe not to this story. It really depends on what I can (or can't) write.
> 
> ANYWAY. I hope you enjoyed the new chapter! Thank you again for all of the kudos, comments, and bookmarks—they really make my day :)


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